Utjeha - Montenegro

Maybe it’s because of the ocean lapping against the rocks below. Maybe it’s the mountains on the other side of the bay, that get larger but fade with distance. Maybe it’s the sun slowly sinking into the sea. Maybe it is just because I am soft.

Whatever it is my eyes are leaking single tears that gently trace into my patchy facial hair. I have no understanding or reasoning for these tears. They are not filled with sadness or with laughter. I start to think about the emotions running through me. The gratitude to all those people that have helped and enabled me to sit on the end of Utjeha dock (Just call me Otis).

To my family and friends that have helped, all I can say is that I will be forever in your debt. For the first time in a long time I feel content, I feel that I am living. My only regret is that none of you are here with me.

It makes me immensely proud to have the unconditional love and support of my family. To have so many friends, who are none judgmental in their view of me, puts a smile on my face.

I am not normally very good at expressing my emotions. Normally I would try to make a witty joke, that turns out to be neither witty nor a joke. In this moment of vulnerability I want to say thank you. You will have my love always